To the Mom Who Looks Strong but Feels Overwhelmed Inside

Everyone thinks you’ve got it handled.

You remember the snack days.
You show up to school drop-off with brushed hair (most days).
You keep the house moving, the kids fed, the schedule alive.

From the outside, you look capable, steady, strong.

But inside?
You’re tired in a way sleep doesn’t fix.
Your chest feels tight more often than you admit.
And some days, the smallest thing—spilled milk, siblings arguing, one more “Mom!”—feels like it might break you.

If this is you, let me reassure you:

Nothing is wrong with you.
And you are not weak for feeling this way.

What Overwhelm Really Looks Like

Overwhelm doesn’t always look like falling apart on the floor.

Sometimes it looks like:

• Snapping at your 4-year-old because they won’t put their shoes on—then feeling intense guilt afterward
  
  
• Feeling overstimulated by noise when your kids are playing normally
  
  
• Lying in bed replaying the day, wondering why you couldn’t be more patient
  
  
• Holding it together all day and then crying in the shower at night
  
  
• Feeling irritated by your 8-year-old’s questions when you know they’re just being curious
  
  
• Feeling like you’re failing at motherhood and everything else at the same time
  
  

These moments aren’t character flaws.
They’re signals.

Core Beliefs Are Quietly Running the Show

Most overwhelmed moms aren’t overwhelmed because they’re doing “too little.”

They’re overwhelmed because of the beliefs  they’re carrying while doing everything!

It's rough - if you looked at my calendar, you would see a really busy schedule. You might think, wow, how does she handle all of that!?! A mom of 2 active kids in baseball and theater 7 days a week, a wife, a rescue dog-mom, a therapist to moms, a business owner, a college Adjunct professor, an active member of the church...hmm, I'm wondering the same thing about myself!! How did I get here? How did I earn all of these hats?

First of all, I believed that I needed to do more. Yes, I believed that busy was something to be proud of. But then burnout became my regular state of mind. But I'm not alone. My journey to discover my own Core Belief System that led me to keep loading on, even without fuel, has made me even more passionate to help the moms in my counseling office. Maybe I can help you too, hopefully at an earlier stage of motherhood!

Some common core beliefs I hear from moms in counseling:

• “I should be able to handle this.”
  
  
• “Good moms don’t feel this frustrated.”
  
  
• “If I slow down, everything will fall apart.”
  
  
• “My kids’ needs should always come before mine.”
  
  
• “If I’m overwhelmed, it means I’m failing.”
  
  

These beliefs often sound true because they’re familiar.
But familiar doesn’t mean factual.

False Beliefs vs. Helpful Truths

Let’s gently shine some light here.

False Belief: “Other moms handle this better than I do.”
Truth: You’re comparing your inside to someone else’s outside.

False Belief: “I shouldn’t feel overwhelmed—I chose this.”
Truth: Loving your kids and feeling overwhelmed can coexist.

False Belief: “If I stop, I’m being selfish.”
Truth: Regulation is not selfish. It’s foundational.

False Belief: “I just need to push through.”
Truth: Pushing through is often what leads to burnout, anxiety, and resentment.



When these false beliefs go unchallenged, your nervous system stays stuck in survival mode—on high alert all day long.

Mindfulness: Paying Attention Before You Explode

Mindfulness isn’t about being calm all the time.

It’s about noticing earlier.

Overwhelm doesn’t arrive suddenly—it builds quietly in the body.

Here are some signs many moms miss:

• A clenched jaw while helping with homework
  
  
• Holding your breath while managing sibling conflict
  
  
• Tight shoulders during bedtime routines
  
  
• A racing mind while doing simple tasks
  
  
• Feeling numb instead of emotional
  
  

Try this simple practice during your day:

Pause and ask yourself:
“What is my body telling me right now?”

Not what should I do, but what do I notice.

You might notice:

• “My chest feels tight.”
  
  
• “I feel rushed.”
  
  
• “I feel overstimulated.”
  
  
• “I feel pressure to keep going.”
  
  

That noticing—without judgment—is mindfulness.

Small Moments of Regulation (That Fit Real Life)

You don’t need an hour of silence. You need interruptions to overwhelm.

Try these in-the-moment resets:

• While kids are playing: Put one hand on your chest, one on your belly, and take three slow breaths
  
  
• Before reacting: Name the feeling silently—“I feel overwhelmed”—before responding
  
  
• During transitions: Drop your shoulders and unclench your jaw intentionally
  
  
• At bedtime: Ask yourself, “What did I carry today that wasn’t mine to carry?”
  
  

These moments help your nervous system shift from survival to safety.

You Are Not Meant to White-Knuckle Motherhood

Strong moms often suffer silently because they believe they should be able to handle it all.

But strength isn’t endurance at all costs.
Strength is awareness, compassion, and support.

If you’ve been holding it together on the outside while unraveling inside, please hear this:

You don’t need to become a different mom.
You need permission to be a regulated, supported, human one.

And that starts by questioning the beliefs that tell you your needs don’t matter.

You do a LOT for everyone. You will feel overwhelmed.
You are allowed to feel overwhelmed—and still be a very good mom.



“but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.”

- Isaiah 40:31

Kathryn D. Gardner, LMHC, LCPC, PMH-C, CHC

Licensed Therapist in IL and FL

Certified Health Coach

Mom and Wife

Christian Catholic

New Tampa, FL

Kathryn Gardner and Shayla Parker are licensed therapists that specialize in a holistic approach to anxiety and stress management. They provide top quality Individual counseling in Florida and Illinois, via Telehealth and in-person in New Tampa, FL. You can feel stress relief and find your tranquility! Call or email today. www.FindYourTranquility.com

Find Your Tranquility shares information, not to replace medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please speak with your provider to learn more about your health and wellness. 

Blog posts may utilize openAI tools (2026).