5 Ways to Relax This Summer: A Therapist & Mom’s Guide to Unwinding When Your Brain Won’t “Turn Off”
5 Ways to Relax This Summer:
A Therapist & Mom’s Guide to Unwinding
When Your Brain Won’t “Turn Off”
This summer, instead of trying to force yourself to “calm down,” I want to encourage you to gently teach your body what safety and peace feel like again.
Summer always sounds relaxing in theory, doesn’t it?
Longer days. Pool afternoons. Slower mornings. Family vacations. Sunshine.
But for many professional moms — especially the helpers, caregivers, and Type A women — summer can feel like a different kind of overwhelm.
The school routine disappears. Kids are suddenly home. Camp schedules take military-level coordination. Work deadlines still exist. Meals still need to happen. Laundry somehow multiplies. And your nervous system never fully gets the memo that it’s “supposed” to be relaxing season.
As a mom of two, business owner, and licensed therapist, I see this often in counseling sessions with women: they desperately want rest, but their body doesn’t know how to relax anymore.
- Their shoulders stay tight
- Their mind keeps scanning for the next thing.
- Their heart races even while sitting still.
If that sounds familiar, you are not alone.
Relaxation is not laziness. It is nervous system care.
This summer, instead of trying to force yourself to “calm down,” I want to encourage you to gently teach your body what safety and peace feel like again.
So let’s use the word RELAX as a simple guide.
R — Release the Tension You’ve Been Carrying
Many moms are holding stress in their body all day long without realizing it.
- Jaw clenched.
- Shoulders tight.
- Stomach tense.
- Hands gripping the steering wheel.
- Mind constantly “on."
One of the fastest ways to relax is to physically release tension first.
This summer, try creating tiny body reset moments throughout the day:
- Unclench your jaw while cooking dinner
- Stretch your neck while the kids swim
- Shake out your hands after answering emails
- Put both feet flat on the floor and soften your shoulders
- Sit outside for 5 minutes without multitasking
Your body cannot stay in high alert and deep relaxation at the same time. Sometimes peace begins with loosening your shoulders before you change your thoughts.
E — Exhale Longer Than You Inhale
Anxious women are often “top-of-the-lungs breathers.”
- Short breaths.
- Fast breaths.
- Holding breath without noticing.
One of my favorite therapist tips is incredibly simple: practice longer exhales.
Why? Because long exhales signal safety to the nervous system.
Try this:
- Inhale slowly for 4 seconds
- Exhale gently for 6 seconds
- Repeat 5 times
You can do this:
- Before walking into work
- At the splash pad
- In the bathroom hiding from your children for 90 seconds (we’ve all been there)
- Before bed when your brain starts spiraling
Your breath is one of the quickest pathways back to calm.
L — Lower Your Expectations of “Perfect Summer”
This one might be the hardest for high-achieving moms.
Somewhere along the way, many women picked up the belief that summer should look magical all the time:
- Happy kids
- Organic homemade snacks
- Pinterest-worthy vacations
- Memory-making every weekend
- Calm, patient motherhood 24/7
Real life is messier than that
Some days will be beautiful.
Some days everyone will be overstimulated and arguing by 10:00 AM.
Lowering perfectionism reduces anxiety more than most people realize.
Your children do not need a perfect summer. They need a connected, emotionally present mom.
Frozen pizza nights, sprinkler afternoons, movie marathons, and simple routines often become the memories kids treasure most.
A — Avoid Constant Cortisol Mode
Many professional moms live in what I call “constant cortisol mode.”
- Always rushing.
- Always solving.
- Always anticipating.
- Always mentally carrying the family calendar.
The nervous system was never designed to stay activated all day long for months or years at a time.
Want to read more about stress overload? Check out my blog post Is this Anxiety? Panic? Or, Stress overload?
This summer, ask yourself:
What actually calms my nervous system?
Not what looks productive.
Not what you “should” do.
What genuinely helps your body soften?
Maybe it’s:
- Morning walks before everyone wakes up
- Reading fiction by the pool
- Worship music while cooking dinner
- Gardening
- Floating in water
- Saying no to overcommitting
- Sitting on the patio after the kids go to bed
Small moments of recovery matter. Your nervous system needs recovery time the same way muscles need recovery after exercise.
X — eXchange Pressure for Presence
Okay, technically we’re borrowing the X a little here.
But this may be the most important one.
So many moms move through summer mentally living somewhere else:
- Thinking ahead
- Planning tomorrow
- Worrying about August
- Replaying yesterday
- Mentally working while physically present
Anxiety pulls us out of the moment.
Presence brings us back.
This summer, practice exchanging pressure for presence:
- Feel the sunshine on your skin
- Notice your child laughing
- Listen to the rainstorm
- Taste your iced coffee slowly
- Watch the sunset instead of multitasking through it
Tiny moments of presence calm the brain more than you think. Peace is often found in ordinary moments we actually allow ourselves to experience. Think of it as, Tranquility Moments!
Final Thoughts from One Mom to Another
If relaxing feels difficult for you, it does not mean you are failing at summer. It probably means your nervous system has been carrying stress for a long time.
Many strong, capable, loving women struggle to unwind. Especially the helpers. Especially the caregivers. Especially the women everyone else depends on. Use the RELAX steps to rejuvenate body, mind and spirit this summer!
As a therapist, I want moms to know this:
- You do not have to earn rest.
- You do not have to wait until everything is finished to breathe deeply.
- And you are allowed to experience joy, calm, and restoration, too.
This summer, maybe relaxation doesn’t have to mean escaping your life. Maybe it simply means learning how to feel safe, grounded, and present inside of it again.
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If you struggle with anxiety, worry, panic and feeling overwhelmed, I am accepting new counseling clients in Florida and Illinois. I offer a free 15-minute consultation to hear more about what you are experiencing and how I can support you. Feel free to call me or email me today! 813-333-8770 info@findyourtranquility.com
Kathryn D. Gardner, LMHC, LCPC, PMH-C, CHC
Licensed Therapist in IL and FL
Certified Health Coach
Mom and Wife
Christian Catholic
New Tampa, FL
Kathryn Gardner, a licensed therapist for 25 years, specializes in a holistic approach to anxiety and stress management for women, especially in pregnancy and motherhood. She has an office in New Tampa, FL, and also sees women across FL and IL. Call or email today to set-up a free 15-minute consultation. You can feel relief and find your tranquility! today. www.FindYourTranquility.com
Find Your Tranquility shares information, not to replace medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please speak with your provider to learn more about your health and wellness.
Blog posts may utilize openAI tools (2026).
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